Arrival of The Artist. Seduced by the possibility of outsider art and the price of property The Artist arrives. Once the successful redesign and open plan abode has been completed (a snip) thoughts move to one’s Practice. There follows a series of exchanges that are to be continued:
Barber: well yes there is a cellar but its no good
The Artist: can we take a look?
The cellar is well sited and easily accessible but the height is a tad under six feet and the exposed nails and beams would be a slight obstacle with The Artist just over six feet in bare feet.
Regeneration Officer: give me an economically viable reason to take you seriously.
The Artist: Shoreditch
The shops in the High Street remain boarded up three years later, a pepper corn rent and network of artist studio not considered of interest. Average High Street charity shop (now debunk) rent £7000 per annum.
Foreshore Officer: the coastguards tower what do you want that for ………. (explanation: I am an Artist) Oh well its not very big and a bit damp
Twelve months later the not-suitable-site sells at Auction for £84,000 to Another Artist
Auction House Owner: well the upstairs may be what you are looking for
The Artist views the large open plan space wracked with history and totally appropriate and salivates. A week later after a hand shake a builder moves in. The Auction House owner alerted to the potential reneged. Too much work for you love.
Councillor: the toilets?
The Artist: yes (thrilled) can we take a look.
The space is beyond perfect and already white. The museum objects to its store for unwanted items being let and the search continues.
Boatyard Owner: well follow me (the journey is through a dark storage area for an opera house's props; around a redundant workshop space that is insecure and then up a short flight of steps into a huge open loft space) you can have it for £100 a month just needs a bit of tidying.
The artist looks at the most perfect space which is covered in great piles of bird droppings and considers Art versus Parasite and gracefully declines
Wealthy Boy-Landowners’ Son: well we will be developing the stables but not until the tawny owl has had her young
To be continued…
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